Here are things I wish I knew or did
- If you really want an item for your baby, get it sooner than later so you can maximize usage.
- I got one of my nursing pillows after 2 months of deliberating and wish I got it sooner for the newborn stage.
- Hire a doula.
- I was on the fence about this but had so much anxiety about my first birth so decided to do some research. So glad I did. My doula was a godsend and I ended up hiring her for all three of my babies.
- Take newborn photos.
- I didn’t take newborn photos with either of my first kids. I thought newborns weren’t cute. Also there was so much going on after birth, the last thing I could think about were photos. But I booked a session with my third baby, since we knew this was our last, and we are obsessed with the photos. My babies do not look cute as newborns, especially when they are wearing ugly mismatched hand-me-downs. But what a difference a cute swaddle, pretty background and nice lighting does!
- Slowly introduce your baby to high allergens early.
- We did Ready. Set. Foods. with our first, where we added a powdered packet to our baby’s milk every day that contained high allergies. We started this around 4 months and he didn’t have any food allergies after. We can’t say that this for sure worked so I didn’t do it with my second and now he has mild peanut allergy. I’m sure he has other food allergies too as he often breaks out in hives, but we haven’t been able to get him tested yet.
- Journal during the first six weeks.
- You’ll have a lot of down time and a lot of emotions. You’ll also most likely forget about it all fast. With my first, I posted an update every week for an entire year and am so glad I did. I still like to go back and read about how each stage was and compare it with the next baby. You can also get a baby milestone book and write updates in there.
- Take maternity photos.
- I gained a lot of weight with my first baby, almost 50 pounds. The drastic weight change made me feel very insecure, unattractive and uncomfortable in my own body. But I need to remind myself that creating a baby is such a beautiful thing.
- Take lots of pictures at the hospital.
- Not just of baby. Take pictures of yourself and your partner too. Those are really hard and vulnerable moments but also worth remembering. Even though I hated the diapers and all the pads, I wish I took pictures of it, especially with my first when recovery was the hardest, to remind myself of what I was able to accomplish
- Do your research about birth and advocate for yourself.
- With my second birth, the anesthesiogolist gave me too much epidural. I wouldn’t have known this if I hadn’t done my research to know that epidural dosage starts at 6 cc and normal dosage is usually 10 cc. I knew I was feeling off right after I had my epidural. I started getting anxiety and couldn’t breathe. I kept asking the anesthesiogist how much epidural he gave me but he refused to answer. I’m not usually one to speak up or advocate for myself. And even the nurses, my husband and doula all suggested I listen to him, trusting that he is the medical professional and should know best. But no one knows your body like you do so trust your body. I had to demand he tell me what he gave me until he finally told me it was 14 cc. That’s when I realized it was too much. Even then he wouldn’t lower it when I asked. Again I had to demand it for some time before he would. Once he lowered it, I immediately felt better.
- Advocate for yourself even after birth.
- With all three of my babies, almost all of the nurses were amazing. I can’t thank them enough for the work they do. But with my last baby, I had one nurse that just either didn’t like me or didn’t like her job. All she did was lecture me, write me up, wouldn’t help me order food, and even after I was approved to be discharged, she refused to remove my IV. It all gave me so much anxiety and made my hospital stay so unpleasant. I wish I spoke up for myself more at least to just request another nurse if she was making me so uncomfortable.
- Wear a belly band after birth.
- I was so preoccupied with breastfeeding that I didn’t do this and regret it. I’m not sure if it works but I feel like my bones loosened up too much after birth and are so much wider now
- Have a baby shower.
- I hate attention and didn’t want to have one with my first. But I’m so glad I did because my kids love looking at their baby shower photos and hearing about it.
- Find a postpartum therapist.
- With my first baby, I had debilitating anxiety, where I couldn’t leave the house with or without the baby. I had so many thoughts and thought something was wrong with me. I wish I saw a therapist sooner to normalize what I was feeling. It wasn’t until my baby stopped nursing and my milk supply depleted almost overnight that my anxiety was at it’s worse. I think part of that could have been the drastic hormonal changes of no longer breastfeeding. That’s when I finally sought therapy and am so glad I did. I kept at it for several years and it helped so much with my next baby, when I had terrible depression. Part of the depression was from living in an isolated location at the time without any family, friends or support. Every birth is different and every person deals with changes in hormones differently. It’s good to do some research and have a postpartum therapist available that’s in network with your insurance in case you need one, instead of scrambling last minute to find one.
- Set up a meal train.
- It seemed silly to set up a meal train when we already had help from my mother in law. But I was so depressed after birth that it really helped my mental health to have friends and family drop by and share a meal with us. Even to this day I still remember all the friends who showed up after my first kid’s birth and the food they made or brought. It didn’t matter what they brought but it felt like the true meaning of comfort food.
